The original intention behind this blog was to talk about becoming a blended family.
Tom and I met in 2017, on Cinco de Mayo. Our first date was a whirlwind, but what stood out most was how immediate everything felt. When I first saw him, my instinctive feeling was that I was home. It was unlike anything I had experienced before. Tom would later say that there were moments with me that felt like déjà vu, as if he were reliving something from another time. It’s hard to explain, especially if you don’t believe in past lives, but years later we were even told that we were connected before. Whether you believe that or not, the connection was undeniable.
When we got engaged in 2019, I had hopes and dreams of starting this blog and sharing the ups and downs of blending a family. Tom had just come out of a difficult custody battle, and we felt ready to start our lives together. But life doesn’t always unfold the way we imagine. Six months later, just one month before our wedding, it was put on hold due to circumstances beyond my control. Even so, I’ve learned that things often work out the way they’re meant to, even when it doesn’t feel that way at the time.
Over the years, we’ve grown into each other more deeply. We’ve learned to give one another grace, to be more understanding, and to become a steady foundation for one another, even stronger than before. We currently live in two states, Tom with his son in Washington and me with my girls in Arizona, doing our best to see each other once a month, or more when possible.
Unfortunately, Tom is now navigating another custody case, something that has tested us deeply but has also solidified our relationship. We are not perfect. We still struggle, especially as I move through perimenopause and menopause, but we lean on each other more than ever. We show up for one another. Going through a high-conflict custody case will test a relationship in ways nothing else can, but it also has a way of clarifying what truly matters in life.
This year, I finally found the courage to start this blog. Back in 2019, when our relationship felt like it was falling apart, I questioned what I even had to say or what made me qualified to write. With time, I’ve learned that life is messy. It’s imperfect. And that’s okay. We’re all doing the best we can with what God has given us.
My hope is that this space becomes one where others feel seen, supported, and understood. Like always, I’d love to hear from you if you feel comfortable sharing, whether it’s a victory you’re celebrating or a struggle you’re navigating.
Messy but rewarding…